If you want to go deeper
Our top pick first, then videos, podcasts, books, accounts and studies, three of each.
These are ones a lot of people watch, read and listen to on this topic. We checked each one first, and we say who is behind it and what it's not for. We're not affiliated with any of them, and we don't earn anything from this list.
Our top pick
Esther Perel, psychotherapist and author.
The video comes from YouTube, a Google service. When you press play, Google receives data and can use storage in your browser, including for its own purposes.
Watch
From three minutes to a long talk.
The School of Life, a media and education channel. No clinician named.
Orna Guralnik, clinical psychologist, known from the series Couples Therapy.
The Gottman Institute, a couples research and training company.
Listen
For the drive, or when you can’t sleep.
Marriage Therapy Radio. Zach Brittle, licensed therapist, in session with a long-married couple.
The Mel Robbins Podcast, with researchers Julie and John Gottman.
Where Should We Begin? Esther Perel, psychotherapist, with author Priya Parker.
Read
If you want to take your time.
Sue Johnson, clinical psychologist and developer of emotionally focused therapy.
Julie Schwartz Gottman and John Gottman, couples researchers and clinicians.
Jefferson Fisher, a Texas trial lawyer who teaches communication.
Follow
Small daily reminders in your feed.
The Secure Relationship. A licensed therapist, by the account's own site.
A clinical social worker, certified in emotionally focused therapy.
Follow
Quick clips, in your feed.
A Texas trial lawyer who teaches communication, not a therapist.
A clinical social worker, certified in emotionally focused therapy.
The science
If you want to see what researchers actually found.
One pushing, one pulling away: linked to lower satisfaction.
Believing an argument can be solved says more about a relationship than how often it comes up.
Pulling back went with lower satisfaction in better-off couples, but with higher satisfaction in couples with less money.
From us
These are ours, so count them as our view.
We looked at what’s out there on this topic, what a lot of people have watched, read or listened to, and what many of them liked. Then we checked each one.
This list isn’t complete. There’s a lot more good stuff out there. If you know something we should add, write to us at hello@lovlov.co.
We can’t tell you whether any of this will work for you, but we’d love to hear what did.
* Numbers as of 4 November 2026. Podcast ratings come from Apple Podcasts and cover the whole show, because listener numbers aren’t public. Book ratings come from Goodreads. We don’t check how those ratings came about. Likes per post are the median of recent posts, and citations come from Crossref.
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